When Freedom Feels Far Away: A Therapist’s Reflection on Independence Day

Every year on July 4th, we’re invited to celebrate “freedom” — fireworks, flags, and fanfare. But for many people this year, freedom feels complicated. Distant. Maybe even hollow. It feels so strange to do the normal things like celebrating the birth of our country when nothing that is happening actually feels or is normal. It’s a true example of cognitive dissonance that is hard to resolve.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, sad, anxious, or grieving right now, you’re not alone — and you’re not broken. Many people are struggling with heavy and complicated emotions this Independence Day. As a therapist, I see it in session after session all day long: people carrying the weight of injustice, fear, helplessness, and deep sadness about the direction of our country and the world.

Whether it’s fear about political instability, grief over rights being rolled back, anger about systemic oppression, helplessness about not knowing what to do, or exhaustion from trying to keep going when so much feels uncertain — your emotional response makes sense. It’s normal to feel not-okay when what’s happening around us isn’t normal and most definitely is not okay. What you feel is expected, what is impacting how you feel is as unexpected as it comes.
This year especially, many people are navigating a strange emotional contradiction — gathering with family and friends for picnics, fireworks, and barbecues, while holding deep sadness, anger, or fear about the real loss of freedoms happening right now. It can feel disorienting to smile and make small talk while quietly grieving everything that’s at stake. I cannot tell how you how often I think to myself, “How can I be happy, be doing fun things, when it feels like everything that our country stands for is being systematically dismantled and so many people around me are losing their rights, their food, their health insurance. I need to do more.”

And it can feel even more painful — even surreal — to sit across from someone at the picnic table who voted for policies or leaders that actively contributed to these losses. To clink a glass or pass a burger to someone who celebrates “freedom” while supporting the erosion of reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ protections, or racial justice. This emotional dissonance is real — and it’s hard and can lead to deeper feelings of grief and negative feelings toward self. How wild and crazy-making it feels to love someone and enjoy their company while recognizing their role in where we are today.

You’re not imagining it: it is a complicated thing to celebrate freedom in a country where so many people’s rights are being stripped away.

So here’s a gentle reminder:
You don’t have to feel patriotic to be present. You don’t have to feel celebratory to honor what this day brings up for you. You can grieve and still care deeply. You can be tired and still be brave.

This Independence Day, give yourself permission to reflect rather than rejoice if that’s what feels true. Consider:
• What does “freedom” mean to me right now?
• Where do I feel constricted, unseen, or unsafe?
• What do I need to reclaim a sense of agency or peace?
• Who or what helps me stay grounded when the world feels unsteady?
• How can I feel empowered in my feelings, instead of overwhelmed by them?
• How can I take action in a way that feels authentic to me?

There’s strength and power in naming your truth — even when it’s uncomfortable. Emotional honesty is not weakness; it’s a form of resistance and a step toward healing when you can be honest about what you are feeling. Your feelings are real, and being honest with them should bring lightness to you, once you grieve how they may create a need for real change in your life and relationships.

If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Therapy can be a place to unpack these emotions, reconnect with your values, and create space for both grief and growth. And if you’re not in therapy, you can still care for yourself by slowing down, setting boundaries, or simply making room for your own quiet reflection amid the noise. Finding others who hold your views and can validate your feelings can also be immeasurably helpful in not feeling alone and in creating a plan to fight for change.

Wishing you moments of clarity, compassion, and courage this holiday — however you choose to spend it.